Things not to Say During Sex .

1. You woke me up for that?
2. Did I mention the video camera?
3. A little rug burn never hurt anyone.
4. But whipped cream makes me break out.
5. Them: this is your first time...right?
You: yeah.. today

6. Yeah... uhm, can you pass me the remote control?
7. Do you accept Visa?
8. On the second thought, let's turn off the lights.
9. and to think... I was really trying to pick up your friend.
10. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

11. But I just brushed my teeth...
12. Smile! You're on candid camera!
13. I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs?!
14. When is this supposed to feel good?
15. Is that blood on the headboard?

16. Did I remember to take my pill?
17. Did I tell you my aunt died in this bed?
18. No, really.. i do this part better myself.
19. You look younger than you feel.
20. and to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

21. I have a confession...
22. I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're
fantasizing about...
23. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off.
24. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said no!
25. How long do plan to be "almost there"?