Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Spotless Mind.
It bothers me that so many things, relevant or not, remind me of you. From music to buildings to inanimate objects. It's so weird. The more I try to forget the more I get reminded. How typical.
I think about you with someone else, without a care in the world. I wonder where you are and when you're coming back. I try to forget the memories but it doesn't seem to work.. instead I think of more we can make. It doesn't really have to do with the fact that I love you, but I miss you. I don't want to continue with such thoughts but then again I do. I sometimes wish I had a spotless mind but immediately take that wish back. I don't need or want a commitment, nor do I want to be labeled. I just want you. I want to have fun like we did before.
I don't care if this comes off as vulnerable because I expose the truth within my feelings; because I'm not afraid of what people think. The truth is I'm not. I've just been through enough shit to realize that if someone can me me smile, and be taken with bliss for a split second to what can feel like eternity, than I'd rather embrace it. To some, what may seem pointless is what ignites my soul.
...Maybe not a spotless mind at all, but laughter, your touch, your warmth, eternal sunshine.
I'm not a "too often" kind.
I don't mean that I'm this rare species or that I'm"unique". (Btw, it's really wack when people call themselves that cause 90% of the time they're not.) I'm not abstract or exotic. I'm simply saying I'm not a "too often" kind.
You may not realize it when you look at me or when you speak to me, or even when you let me in. But once there, it may take you months maybe years, or maybe it'll be too late.. I'll make you second guess yourself, change your mind when your mind was set, or even allow you to take a chance. Not to whoever I come across but whoever lets me in deep enough. I can show you real emotion, take you elsewhere, and even if you let me slip, I'm never really gone.
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