I keep saying this to myself... maybe, just maybe.

"I don't wanna waste an entire album on you, Ive been there done that, yea... and I don't wanna tell who what when where why and how cause who cares, no nobody cares.

But I hope you soon find out how to love, once upon a time you wanted to learn, I thought I could teach you but you were more afraid, than willing. So when it comes don't push it away, one day you will find it is the greatest gift and I hope you don't take advantage of it again.

Hold her when she wants to be held, don't yell at her when she's only trying to love you.Take her to her favorite place more often than not, don't take her kindness for weakness cause I'm sure she'll love you a lot. Support her in all that she does, don't tear her down build her up cause that is the worst thing you can do to someone you love. Put her high on a pedestal and tell her when she looks beautiful, tell her when she looks beautiful ...

I used to think that I could not bare you to be with anyone but me, but I've been there done that, yea... and since then I've come to think silly of that whole mentality, cause I wanna find love too though it wont be with you. I wish for everyone to one day find happiness and love including you, yea... and I don't wanna go into detail cause I've said enough and it's not my intent to hurt you.

But I hope you soon find out how to love, once upon a time you wanted to learn, I thought I could teach you but you were more afraid, than willing. So when it comes don't push it away, one day you will find it is the greatest gift and I hope you don't take advantage of it again.


Hold her when she wants to be held, don't yell at her when she's only trying to love you.Take her to her favorite place more often than not, don't take her kindness for weakness cause I'm sure she'll love you a lot. Support her in all that she does, don't tear her down build her up cause that is the worst thing you can do to someone you love. Put her high on a pedestal and tell her when she looks beautiful, tell her when she looks beautiful...."

*bites

Random Facts:

I have this thing where if I'm a guest at your house and you ask me if I'm hungry/thirsty, I will ALWAYS say no. Even if I am, I would sit there dehydrated and starving like a fool.

pretty neat.

Days like that.

I'm restless.
I'm laying on the floor although there's a bed less than a foot away.

"Girl interrupted" has been on replay for the last five hours.

I feel isolated for some reason, although I'm really not.

I find it funny how I feel so empty with a head full of thoughts and a heart that is full... of wasted emotions.

I guess the exhaust is from all the amount of open wounds.

There's so many things I'm thinking of: self image, my issues, my past, how I yearn to be whole.

I'm thinking I need to get the fuck out of Jersey.
I need to see some new faces, listen to different people speak, interact in a different environment; with such mellow vibes.

I'd prefer a better understanding of this so-called love. A genuine one at that.

It would also be cool if there were someone who actually understood what the fuck I was talking about half the time. I mean when I really talk, not just bullshit. But who the fuck can relate; I don't understand me sometimes. Things are so misconstrued. I'm so fucked up but I can still manage to be sensible.

Diagnosis: I'm losing the little bit of sanity I've got left.

I am in some deep shit.






....Fuck.

Stuff that bug me #95:

People that don't serve breakfast after a certain period of time.
Why?

What if I want eggs at 8 pm. I can't have any?

That's bullshit.

and they say no one's perfect.

I don't quite care for meaningless interaction/conversation. :I

Random Facts:

I have these notebooks filled with my thoughts and ideas. Things I can say with time; without being interrupted. The words my soul can speak displayed on paper. Most of the time I write at night, usually before I attempt to go to sleep. For some reason I can't really sleep unless I write what I'm thinking (unless I'm entirely too exhausted). That sounds a bit odd but I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this.

Old man's face is priceless.

Was it really worth you going out like that?

Just taking a quick glance at my blog, I realize I talk so much about love. It can kind of get annoying at times.. but fuck it. I would like to talk about other shit of course, but I guess right now that's something that's taking up the majority of my thoughts.

Oh yes, I'm posting some Maxwell.

If something seems to good to be true, it probably is.

There's just something so damn attractive about him.

Today was a pretty productive day.

Not really but at least I actually did what I said I was going to do.

So listen, last night, my brother's ex asked me if I could babysit. First off, I don't know why. I'm not the babysitting type, plus my niece doesn't even know me like that. But whatever, it's their kid. haha

Ok, anyway, so I'm like "Sure what time?" She goes, "Oh at around 9, 9:30." I don't know what the fuck possessed me to believe she meant the AM but for some reason, I did.

I say sure, as if I'm the morning type.

-BREAK NIGHT, because I want to be on time, and also because I had shit to do after.
-Having my friend call me the entire night because she's going through this drama there.

I call at 9:20 and my brother goes, "Oh, she meant at night..."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking lose my mind.

I'm like "what!" Dude starts laughing. I was super tight. But I laugh at it now.

So yeah, enough about my day, my life's not all that interesting.

last night/ this morning was fucking hectic.