(Altered to fit me.)


" I’m modern. A diversified, unlikely being.
I’ve been up linked and downloaded,
I’ve been inputted and outsourced,
I know the upside of downsizing,
I know the downside of upgrading.
A cutting edge, state-of-the-art multi-tasker.
I’m new wave, but I’m old school.
I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer.
I interface with my database,
my database is in cyberspace,
so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive,
and from time to time I’m radioactive.

I’m on-point, and off drugs.
I’ve got no need for coke and speed.
I've got no urge to binge and purge.
I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge,
over-the-top and under-the-radar.
A high-concept, low-profile, sort of thing.
You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down
because I’m tireless and I’m wireless.
I'm laid-back but fashion-forward.
Up-front, down-home, low-rent. Long-lasting,
fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last.

I’m hands-on, pretty mature, and post-traumatic.
But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing--
a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food.
I like rough sex. I like tough love.
A hospital-tested, clinically-proven,
scientifically- formulated medical miracle.
Rough, tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow, I go with the flow,
I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride."

-George Carlin.