"A match made in heaven sets the fire in hell"

Those words are suddenly starting to lose meaning.

Another day in the life...

Well, just my luck.
My internet "suddenly" stopped working.
Idk what the fuck happened. All I know is that my mom's despicable boyfriend went into my room, sat in there, came out ten minutes later, and nothing was working. Fuck. I know he tampered with it.
Supposedly he went in there to "fix my speakers".
Cause I think they blew out or something.
Actually I don't know what happened with my speakers either o_O
Maybe it's some sort of plague going around
...messing up peoples computers and devices and such.
Hmmm.. I might be on to something.

But anyway, back to the story.
First of all, I know a little something about computers and electronics. Hey, I'm no expert but I probably no more about em' than everyone else in this house does.
So when I say "It doesn't work". I mean IT DOES NOT WORK.
No need to be Mr.Fix it when you have less of a clue than me.
I say.... fuck it. I'll order some new speakers online.
Cheap ones. It'll be okay. But NO. He somehow sneaks his way into my room trying to "fix them". When I specifically said dont touch anything, I'll get new ones.

Now look what happened.
I'm here using my sister's bitch of a laptop that stops the internet every 2 minutes. All I have is this one book I haven't read, but that'll only keep me busy for a little while.. then what?
I've got no internet. No speakers. No phone and no cable.
What will I do!? I can't even get in touch with the outside world.
Woe is me.

City by the Sea.

Creep - Radiohead

(Altered to fit me.)


" I’m modern. A diversified, unlikely being.
I’ve been up linked and downloaded,
I’ve been inputted and outsourced,
I know the upside of downsizing,
I know the downside of upgrading.
A cutting edge, state-of-the-art multi-tasker.
I’m new wave, but I’m old school.
I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer.
I interface with my database,
my database is in cyberspace,
so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive,
and from time to time I’m radioactive.

I’m on-point, and off drugs.
I’ve got no need for coke and speed.
I've got no urge to binge and purge.
I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge,
over-the-top and under-the-radar.
A high-concept, low-profile, sort of thing.
You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down
because I’m tireless and I’m wireless.
I'm laid-back but fashion-forward.
Up-front, down-home, low-rent. Long-lasting,
fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last.

I’m hands-on, pretty mature, and post-traumatic.
But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing--
a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food.
I like rough sex. I like tough love.
A hospital-tested, clinically-proven,
scientifically- formulated medical miracle.
Rough, tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow, I go with the flow,
I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride."

-George Carlin.

"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass
grows through a crack in the concrete.
It's so fuckin' heroic."
— George Carlin

One of my favorite episodes.

Courage the Cowardly Dog[6] - King Ramses Curse


and seriously, if this show doesn't amuse you in any way,
you suck on so many levels. =]

I must suck at life.

a list of things I haven't seen/done:


-I've never seen THE NOTEBOOK ._. I saw it the other day. Finally. :D
-I've never ridden a bike.
-I've never learned how to swim, and I'm Hispanic. I know right?
-I've never tasted lobster. Looks so delicious in pictures :/
-I've never been to Hershey Park when I lived 30 minutes away at one point.
-I've never been out of state, besides new york and P.A.
Oh and D.R. But that's out the country.
Actually scratch that one, I'm making no sense.
-I've never seen Twilight.
-I've never tasted Ben and Jerry's ever so popular ice-cream :|
-Oh, and I've never had cookie dough.
-I've never been to a concert :(
-I've never had any cool family members that spoil me rotten
and make me feel all special and such.
-I've never been on a boat.
-I've never 'treated' myself with something expensive.
-I've never had Twix, the commercials make me want to try it.
-I've never been to a club in which people"18 + older" could only get in.
Correction. I went to one on friday. yay me! :]
I've been 18 for almost 6 months now. -_-
-I still haven't gotten my state I.D, because I'm so fucking broke.
That's sad. It's like $20.
-I've never been ice skating/rollerblading.
-I've never seen an episode of Grey's Anatomy.

There's probably more but I can't think of any at the moment.

Jay Baruchel is insanely cute.
I mean look at him.
I just want to rip his face off and wear it on my birthday.

._.

I will take you downnnnnnnnn.

Benicio Del Toro.

Man, I'm hungry.

I think I'm gonna make me a butter roll, nice and toasty, from the stove since someone stole my damn sandwich maker.

Ahh, butter.
America's favorite heart attack.

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm."
— George Carlin

This was my SHIT.

lol, oh I'd definitely wear this.

Just finished watching The Outsiders.
Let me just say, it was JUST as good as the book, if not better.
I don't really remember the book all too well anyway.
I was forced to read it in class like in freshman year I think.


Oh yeah!
and I didn't know Charlie Sheen's real name is Carlos Irwin Estevez.
And Emilio Estevez is his brother. Who knew.


Yeah, that was random.

But Emilio Estevez plays "two-bit" in the movie so it reminded me.

lol, Craig.

and is it just me or does the name Craig look weird as hell when you look at it for too long? It looks all german or something unpronounceable.



CRAIG (7:33:47 PM): Omg i had a dream yest. & you were in it
ME (7:33:56 PM): Cool
ME (7:33:58 PM): what happened?
ME(7:33:59 PM): lol
CRAIG (7:34:51 PM): i saw you & i was like hey. & you hugged me & we started to like mess around. & this nigga who looked JUST like me came & was like get the fuck outta here, this my girl. & shot me
ME (7:35:08 PM): LMFAO!
ME (7:35:12 PM): omg.
ME (7:35:20 PM): that made me laugh hysterically
CRAIG (7:35:24 PM): then like kissed you or w.e & then my house turned into a concert & then like i was at a party.
CRAIG (7:35:27 PM): & then i woke up
CRAIG (7:35:29 PM): lmfaooo
ME (7:35:33 PM): ROFL
ME (7:35:39 PM): you have the best dreams

that left sleeve.

Man, this is so dysfunctional.

yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
positively wonderful.

I've had such an eye-opening experience, just now. Not really an experience. Much more like a wake-up call. But anyway, there are so many things that have blinded me. So many things in which I've blocked out, so that I can move forward. But I haven't moved forward... nor will I unless I do what my intuition is telling me to do. I'm pretty sure that I've realized a lot today. I've realized that you sometimes want something so bad that you persuade your mind that you actually need it. That it is for YOU, therefore you will not let it pass you by. Now let's be real. I know I can be quite stubborn at times. Yet I am not afraid to admit to that. I altered my way of thinking because it was not benefiting me. I was in denial. But I no longer am.

I know that friendship isn't what it used to be. The people... or person in which you befriended because of whatever reason, you believed was something truly meaningful and one of a kind, may have not been so.
Or that person who you would probably give up anything for, or at least you told yourself that..
may have not been worth the heartaches and struggles.
And the person who probably loved you unconditionally when no one else did is someone to cherish, and not to feel annoyed or bewildered with their constant persistence.
And that life really is short regardless of what anyone has to say. You have one shot to live, and you should live it the way you want to. Despite your shortcomings and your pessimistic attitude, at least you can say "Hey, I might not have succeeded in what I thought I was set out to do...
but I had a shitload of fun trying."

This is really an intense feeling to me because of the fact that I am a very discouraged person,
and for once, I'm GOING to take my own advice. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow, or next week, or the week after that. But before I die. I will stop dreaming. and start living.

One Week:

a must-see film.

@_@

Panic at the Disco:

Why?! ):

I heard about it like a week ago, but I refused to believe it.
until now.. 8|

http://panicatthedisco.com/2009/07/06/to-whom-it-may-concern/

< / 3

nor will I be anything close.

I'm so in denial.
In denial about it all.
I think it's time I stop 'hoping' and 'wishing'.
When in reality, it's going to happen anyway.

So what the fuck is the point of me hoping,
that by some miracle,
it doesn't?

That it can all miraculously change overnight?
Why not be fucking realistic...

Why not take take my own advice..

When is it going to be enough?

Despite what I say or do.
it will never be enough.

In case you haven't noticed -
which you haven't, 'cause from what I can tell,
you don't notice anything ever -
we are not very functional when we're high.

-Pineapple Express.

Things that make me happy.

1-The fact that I found my old VCR along with a bunch of movies on VHS, and that I'm currently watching Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood.

2-Reminiscing about good times.

3-Romantic moments.

4-When my hair looks nice.

5-Reading a good book.

6-Watching a good movie.

7-Singing along to music, really loud, with my brush portraying the mic.

8-Nice outfits.

9-Finding cool stuff.

10-Blogging.

11-To hear from that one person I've been waiting for.

12-Great pictures.

13-Beautiful weather.

14-Beautiful people, and I don't mean physically.

15-Food in the house, cause that's a miracle.

16-Epic days.

17-Good music.

18-Meeting new people who turn out to be unbelievably awesome.

19-Writing.

20-Spending time with people I care about.

21-Knowing someone so well it's like you could read their mind by just looking at them. And with that one look you both know what each other is thinking and laugh, and no one knows what the fuck is going on. I love that.

22-Talking to an interesting person for hours.

23-Blowing bubbles.

24-Playing video games.

That's how it's done.

Thinking about tomorrow won't change how I feel today.

Michael Cera looks beyond adorable.
nom nom nom.

I need something...

I'm not quite sure on what that something might be.
But I think I need something new.
I need something to look forward to each day.
I need motivation.
Enough motivation so that I don't slack off believing there's some sort of consolation prize.
I want something that can put a smile on my face.
Something that..
even on my bad days I'm still okay.
or every weekday feels like a weekend.
or that I wont get annoyed with every new "trend"
or that I actually stop to smell the roses.
and a bunch of doors open when one door closes.
or that every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day
I feel high on life.
so high, in fact, that I see stars up close.
with my head in the clouds feeling infinite.
that's quite lovely I suppose.
I want something that makes these moments last a lifetime.
such bountiful acts that is must be a crime.
such beauty in every little thing.
that it must be a sign.
a sign that things are different.
Different in a way that it's new.
New in a way that it's different.
So appealing to me I must say.
I crave it everyday.
but I guess it's better that way.
I need a change.

Come On, Come Out - A Fine Frenzy

Lead singer, Clayton, from 'Thriving Ivory'.
I love his sound.

Thirteen.